As soon as I felt a hand pull me by my hair, my eyes flipped open and I was dragged into the living room to meet my mum who was already in tears and shaking.
Five days later, I woke up once again with
screams as has been the practice since that
horrible night. My dad was immediately by my side soothing me as the tears rolled down my face.
âItâs okay Omolola. Youâre fine and safe. Daddy is hereâ.
âDaddy, I am afraid. Kenny has not comeâ.
âI know he hasnât. I will still call him again.
Just try and get stronger first okay?â
âHe hasnât picked my calls dad. Since you told him, he has not picked my calls onceâ. As my dad eventually left me alone in the
bedroom with my thoughts, I recalled that evil night as clear as the day. I remember my dad being dragged from the bedroom and asked to give them money. I remember the exhaustive search for money which proved abortive as my dad and mum only had a total of about N50,000 at home. I remember adding the N20,000 I had in my bag and the man telling me I was insulting him with change. As soon as I apologized, he looked at me and really looked at me and I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. I could see it vividly in his eyes. I begged,
âPlease, I am married. I beg youâ âSo what are you doing in daddyâs house fine
girl, your husband is not servicing you well abi? I will help his matter. He needs helpâ. I begged, my dad and mum begged and his only response was because of their begging, he wonât make them watch. I fought as hard as I could and for every struggle there was a slap and a punch. He finally had to get the other man to hold me down. I fought every step of the way. I was numb. The physical pain was welcome,
I could deal with that. I couldnât deal with the heaviness that crushed my heart. All through as he kept thrusting faster than I could ever imagine, I thought of Kenny and how much pain this was going to cause him. I remember him warning me not to make this trip. He kept going on and on for about thirty minutes before he finally let go. Funny how he had the decency to use a condom. I had no strength left. I was broken. For the first time in my christian walk, I questioned God. I asked him questions. His silence was deafening.
It has been five days since my nightmare, five days since my dad informed Kenny, three days
since I got back home from the hospital and he still hasnât showed up. I have no more will left
to even live another dayâ¦â¦ After a whole month of daily calls to Kenny with no response, I finally gave up. I knew my marriage was over.
I had gone through the full cycle from tears to pain in my heart to anger to being just blank. I have finally resigned myself to fate.
Even the strength to pray had left me. I have tried interpreting Kennyâs silence in different
ways but my conclusion was that he just didnât love me enough to fight for us. I sent him different text messages and not once did he
humour me and respond. I just could not understand why a man will be silent after hearing his wife was raped.
As always my mum walked into my bedroom that Friday afternoon once again to ask what happened between my husband and I.
She had soon figured out something was wrong but I
always refused to tell her. âLola, you know what? Your father and I have tried.
You have stayed in our house for over a month and we have been caring. You canât keep saying there is nothing wrong when I have
been married for thirty five years and I know more than youâ
âMum, please I donât have the strength to argueâ. âOkay then, your father and I have decided you
canât live here anymore. We will not harbour a married woman in our home. We will not harbour a married woman in our home. Since you and your
husband donât respect us enough to seek for advice. Please go back to him or wherever you
want but you cannot stay under my roofâ
. Still shocked at what she was saying, âMum?â âDaughter!!! Yes?â I finally relented. I didnât even have a plan B.â Mum,
Kenny and I have serious problems. Our marriage is not even up to a year and we donât even know how to move forwardâ.
âOkay tell me everythingâ. So I sat for over an hour and told my mum every single detail from my wedding night to the day I
left Kennyâs house. Surprisingly, my mum did not interrupt or blow up at me. I expected her to
start screaming but her calmness amazed me. âHeeeeeeee Omolola, O ti ba ye je ( you have
spoilt the world)â She said in Yoruba language when I was finally done. âMummy, haba! What did I do wrong?
How can Kenny just abandon me here? His love is fleeting mum, it canât even stand the test of timeâ.
I said with deep anger and disappointment.
âHmmmmm, first of all, you are changing your church. The kind of pastorâs wife that will give you such advise is not who you should be listening to. Why didnât you call me? Why did you go to an outsider?â
âMum, you are the one that said I should keep our matters privateâ.
âNot when it is crumbling my dear, we all need help once in a whileâ.
âOkay mum, what do we do now? Do you think there is any chance for Kenny and Iâ.
âOf course, your father and I have had greater battles that we have overcome. Marriage is filled
with battles, we fight, win, conquer and fight another day. We never give up.
It only ends the day you stop fighting for it. Lola, you keep fighting till you conquer.
There is no end. You made some terrible decisions and took some wrong stepsâ.
âMum, what about Kenny? He took a lot of wrong steps tooâ. âYes, I will face Kenny but I need to talk to you first.
I told you not to kill yourself over not having a child yet. It will come. You shouldnât have
fasted and deprived your husband without his full consent.
Moreso, you should have given him his marital rights between 6pm when you break your fast and midnight when the next day starts.
You shouldnât have run from your home without his consent and come hide here.
To tell you the truth, it will take God for Kenny to be able
to sleep with you again. Both of you, your actions have spoilt a lot of things.
This matter should not have generated to this level. First thing tomorrow morning, I am going back to Abuja with you, we
are going to see your husbandâ True to her word, by 11 am on Saturday, which
was the next day, we had arrived my house. As
soon as I saw Kennyâs car parked in the
compound, my heart started beating fast. I
wished he was not home even though mum had
called earlier and told him she was coming to see him. He opened the door as soon as we were
approaching and I assumed he had seen us through the window and prostrated, greeting my
mum in yoruba language. Kenny totally ignored me and my mum just smiled at us.
I left them in the sitting room and went into the room.
Everything was just as I left it and my investigation as to whether somebody else had been living with him came up empty.
I heard my mum call me from the living room and I quickly
dropped my bag and went back to join them.
âMummy, Lola does not want to be married.
In less than a year of marriage she has shown blatant disregard and disrespect both to me and
this home and I am sick of it. Does she think if it was another man, he wonât have started
womanizing by now? I stayed faithful even when she refused to be faithful to our marriage
vowsâ. Kenny said with so much anger. âPlease donât threaten us with tales of
unfaithfulness. So you want an award because
you didnât cheat? I said. âKeep your mouth shut Lola, just shut upâ my
mum shouted while Kenny just shook his head. I
instantly felt remorseful. I listened as my mum and Kenny started talking. I
truly listened to his hurts and pains as he opened
up to my mum and for the first time I understood
the gravity of where we were. By the time they
started talking about the rape incident, Kenny
shed tears. He just kept quiet while tears fell from his eyes and I was broken for both of us. âMummy, I warned Lola, I warned her not to go.
I havenât been able to get that image out of my
head ever since Daddy told me. Where do we
start from? She refused to sleep with me all in the
name of prayers and freely gave it to a thief?â âKenny, donât say she freely gave it. We all
still feel the pains of that night most especially your wife.
The pain she is still in as a result of that incident is great. She needs a lot of time to healâ. My mum said.
âI warned her, I warned her mummyâ Kenny insisted.
My mum began to talk to Kenny about us communicating better, about understanding each
other and being quick to forgive. She spoke and fear gripped my heart as I looked at Kennyâs face.
After so much advise from mum, Kenny began to calm down.
âBoth of you need to pray, be patient and communicateâ mum said again. âMummy, truth be told, I am not sure if this marriage still exists.
I donât even know where to start with Lolaâ Kenny said. âYou both start with forgiving each other and then take it one step at a time.
You start with conversations, heart to heart ones, share your
pains and fears and with time the intimacy will come and with time you will healâ.
âOkay mummy, thank you ma.â Kenny said. About an hour later, mum left our home in a cab,