• Top 10 twitter jokes
  • Top 10 twitter jokes

    At this time of year I traditionally head for a Mediterranean beach and leave you in the company of some of the finest wits of the world’s second most popular microblogging website. This year I’m staying put but you’re still getting the treatment. Thanks to all, and especially to Moose Allain, who also does cartoons (see above, and there are more in his shop).


    1. Trying to work out what you would call an omniscient, omnipotent proboscis. God nose. Matt Roberts.



    2. When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it becomes apparent. Via Chris Heaton-Harris.


    3. Everything’s tickety boo at the ghost train kiosk. Moose Allain.


    4. A horse walks into a bar. A shire horse waits for his friends until he walks into a bar. Emzlina.




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    5. My teachers made me learn parrot fashion. And yet not once in my adult life have I ever needed to dress a parrot. Sanjeev Kohli.


    6. I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas. Paul Eggleston.


    7. What does your wardrobe say about you? It says you’re the sort of person who believes in talking wardrobes. Moose Allain.


    8. I have a statistics joke but the average person would think it’s mean. Kareem Carr.


    9. Tense, nervous pod race? Nothing acts faster than Anakin. Moose Allain.


    Read more


    Mea Culpa: Unmasking the truth about so-called phrases

    10. They gave me a jigsaw which said 5-7 years on the box. I did it in a day. Trouteyes.


    Next week: Greatest backings of someone before sacking them, starting with Thomas Cromwell, elevated to Earl and Lord Great Chamberlain by Henry VIII four weeks before he was arrested for treason.


    Coming soon: Feuds, prompted by a discussion about why even Gordon Brown and Robin Cook couldn’t remember why they didn’t get on.

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  • 16 Aug '20 - 10:38am
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  • Comments (26)
  • idamag1 on 16 Aug '20 - 10:46am
    this piece is funny, thanks for sharing
    2
  • uwakky on 16 Aug '20 - 10:49am
    this is really funny i will make sure i share it to my family an friends
    2
  • uwakky on 16 Aug '20 - 10:50am
    thanks for the update
    2
  • marghi7 on 16 Aug '20 - 10:54am
    thanks for the update
    2
  • qieennk on 16 Aug '20 - 10:59am
    indeed.. thanks for updating.
    2
  • baronmeshach on 16 Aug '20 - 10:39am
    thanks for the update
    1
  • rich1994 on 16 Aug '20 - 10:53am
    Tanks for the update sir
    1
  • cartiejay on 16 Aug '20 - 11:14am
    this is really a funny article
    1
  • matthewsmith on 16 Aug '20 - 12:41pm
    This life no balance ooooo
    1
  • ibello on 16 Aug '20 - 01:00pm
    thanks for updated information
    1
  • lovely01 on 16 Aug '20 - 01:44pm
    very funny joke
    1
  • stelly9 on 16 Aug '20 - 02:26pm
    ah ah,very funny article
    1
  • prepresh on 16 Aug '20 - 02:53pm
    thanks for the information
    1
  • mercycute on 16 Aug '20 - 01:23pm
    hahahahaha thanks for the update nice one there
    0
  • danielebuka on 16 Aug '20 - 02:16pm
    nice one....so hilarious
    0
  • mentp on 16 Aug '20 - 02:22pm
    thanks for the update
    0
  • maxzeal01 on 16 Aug '20 - 02:51pm
    Very hilarious indeed, can seem to stop laughing
    0
  • adam27 on 16 Aug '20 - 03:11pm
    all this jokes are not really vibing sometimes
    0
  • worldwide on 16 Aug '20 - 04:19pm
    thanks for the update
    0
  • ubn4god on 16 Aug '20 - 10:02pm
    thanks for the joke
    0
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